Updated: Aug 14
Director: Steve Lawson
Writer: Steve Lawson
Starring: Steven Dolton, Vicki Glover, Julian Boote 7 Kenton Hall
The plot of Killersaurus is a strange one to explain because there isn’t much of one. Probably the most accurate description I can give, that isn’t filled with hyperbole, would be as follows:
Professor Peterson (Steven Dolton) 3d prints a dinosaur which then kills some of his researchers. He then sacks everyone who survived.
Three months later, researcher Amy (Vicki Glover) suffers from nightmares, well a nightmare, and heads back to the facility along with her journalist boyfriend Jed (Kenton Hall). They find the professor, still at his desk, wearing the same clothes, and the dinosaur is still alive too.
Now, I’m pretty sure that doesn’t sound especially exciting or interesting, and that’s because it just isn’t. Unless, of course, you think that a movie called Killersaurus should spend at least 50% of its runtime featuring a man at a desk. If you do, then you are going to love this movie.
The professor spends most of his time, looking at the CCTV footage from a camera that appears to have inexplicably been placed at around knee height, in the middle of a walkway, pointing at a roller shutter. Because, as I’m sure you all know, the best way to contain your artificially created dinosaur is behind a roller-door.
If only Jurassic Park didn’t spend all that money on electric fences, moats and concrete walls, and just used a room and a shutter, they would have been fine.
That’s the other thing. There is no camera in the room in which they print the dinosaur as that would be too easy, so the only thing visible is the external image of the shutter and a few white-clad scientists.
Luckily, some scientists are wearing hard-hats because if there’s one thing that defends from T-Rex attack, it’s a hard hat.
Inevitably, the only way to check on the status of the experiment is to open the shutter, which leads to one person getting their head bitten off.
No. Wait. That’s not right because we see the head fly out, but no sign of the body. So, I’m going to say that she had her body bitten off.
Don’t let that fool you into thinking there’s some dino-related carnage at the start either, because it all happens off-screen or obscured by a cloud of smoke.
The stuff fills the entire dino print room with a visual-obscuring layer. I’m not entirely sure what it’s meant to be either. At one point Amy tells Jed to wear his mask because of the gas, as he pokes his head under the shutter to take some pictures of whatever lurks within. But he doesn’t put it on, and nor does she. Or anyone who goes in there really, so who knows if it’s gas, smoke or dinosaur farts?
The whole movie is just lazy.
But look at the cover image one more time. That looks good, right?
Something that you know will be cheap and cheerful, but that might be fun as well? Something that you could watch with your mates and have a few laughs?
Well, that isn’t happening here. Invite your friends round to watch this with you and you’ll likely find yourself removed from their social circle quicker than if you offered them a bowl of your Wuhan-style bat soup.
You may notice something else about the cover too. That tagline about a human/dino hybrid perhaps?
Well, that happens right at the end, is obscured mostly by smoke, whilst the actual dinosaur just sort of stands there, and really isn’t worth the wait.
The only good thing on offer here is the run-time, so if you are unfortunate enough to watch it, it’s only 74 minutes that you’ll have to endure.
45 minutes of which will be a man at a desk, looking at a monitor.