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Killer Sofa, (2019). I Didn't 'Chair'ish This Much. It Just Didn't Suite My Needs... Okay, I'll Stop


Written and Directed By: Bernie Rao, Starring: Jed Brophy, Jordan Rivers & Piimio Mei.


sofa:

/ˈsəʊfə/

noun

a long upholstered seat with a back and arms, for two or more people.

"sofa cushions"


My first question, heading into this review, would have to be, do these filmmakers not know what a sofa is? Answers on a postcard too, 'I don’t really give a shit. It was rhetorical.'


Much of my time, while watching this movie, was spent trying to figure out why the movie was called 'Killer Sofa.' It’s not a sofa. It’s a reclining 'fucking' armchair.


Right, that’s out of the way, so let’s crack on with the review.


I have a passion for bad movies. Providing that they know they are bad movies and don’t take themselves too seriously. A tongue in cheek, bad movie can be a gloriously enjoyable thing. For example, Sharknado, Wolf Cop, Zombeavers and Velocipastor are all great. Check out Mark’s review of Velocipastor to see what I mean.

Killer Sofa, unfortunately, does not fall into this category. I hoped to be entertained. I ended up very bored. It wasn’t as if I wasn’t trying to find something to like about the film. I was. My boredom was entirely the fault of the movie.


So, let’s take a look at the “plot.” And I use the word plot begrudgingly…


When a possessed reclining chair becomes enchanted by a girl and starts committing crimes of passion, a couple of detectives find themselves fighting their own demons while trying to solve this strange case with the help of a disgraced Jewish rabbi and an eccentric Voodoo sorceress.


Let’s examine the film's antagonist for a moment. The Killer Recliner, (I refuse to call it a sofa for the remainder of this review) just looks ridiculous. Not in the hilariously entertaining way that the dinosaur in Velocipastor looked ridiculous. When in kill mode, the chair reminded me of some S&M, leather-clad, Bungle from Rainbow. Don’t ask me why. I think it was down to its facial expression. Who knows? I’m sticking with it.


Bungle Was loving his new 'Gimp' mask.

When I first heard about the film, I thought “awesome.” Maybe there would be the potential for some decent gory death scenes involving people sitting in the thing only to be eaten alive… Nope. The chair spends most of its time sneaking up behind people, (I’m not kidding. It sneaks around on tip-toes like a friggin Scooby-Doo villain) and pushing them out of windows.


I’m usually a sucker for dry humour, but it still has to be funny. The humour on display in this movie is so dry that it ceases to be humour. It’s less deadpan and more… well, dead.


The film is littered with weird dream sequences. One such sequence sees the object of the chair’s lusty desires, Francesca (Piimio Mei) becoming weirdly turned on and sexually molesting its upholstery. I just had a look and couldn’t find a name for people who get aroused by furniture. I’m sure it must be a thing though. Oddly, there is a name for people who get sexually aroused by having insects crawl on them. It’s called Formicophilia… and, nope!


I guess it takes all sorts…


I think what disappointed me most was that this movie came out of New Zealand, and if anyone knows how to pull off a comedy/horror, it’s New Zealander’s. Black Sheep is a stunning example of finding the perfect balance between Comedy and gross-out horror. Housebound is another fine example. And need I mention Peter Jackson’s Braindead? One of the finest examples of comedy/horror ever committed to film. Killer Sofa, sadly, does not belong on this list.


Nothing say's 'instant orgasm' quite like 50% off at DFS.

The acting, while not the worst I’ve seen, is simply ‘meh’. Not one actor stands out above the rest. I couldn’t have given two shits about any of the characters. They are all out-acted by a homicidal Barcalounger, anyway.


If I can only find one good thing to say about the movie, it’s this… Killer Sofa is the best film about a murderous armchair, released last year.


Oh, and I almost forgot. The detective's name is Bob Gravy. They could have maybe done something funny with that, but they didn’t.


Oh, well…

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